DAWN LAVELLA MILLER

Whether published or unpublished, we authors have our insecurities. I'll never forget the first time I attended a critique group and read something I'd written. My hands were shaking. My mouth was as dry as dust. I was terrified! Why? Because, as writers, we pour our hearts and souls into our words. They become like surrogate children and all of us want people to like our kids . . . right? 

When I joined Facebook, one of my first friends was Dawn Miller. I found her fascinating - okay, it's true, she likes my books - but that's not the only reason. She always had something interesting to say. She was articulate, well-read and upbeat even though it was obvious her life was not easy. I had a hunch she would have something wonderful to contribute to Book Blather and here it is. A great big Book Blather welcome to Dawn Miller!

  OVERCOMING THE FEAR OF REJECTION

I often tell my kids that in order to succeed they have to try.  If they fail, learn from it, and try again.  So, why is my own advice so hard to follow?  I have allowed my own fear, of failure, of rejection, to hold me captive.  It’s safe here in the cage of my own making.  I am confident in my actions and the reaction to them.  However, my goals, my dreams, sit outside the bars, unattained.  Unreachable, unless I open the unlocked door and venture into the beyond.

You would think that being able to recognize the problem would be half the way to solving it, right?  Wrong.  There are obstacles that need to be negotiated.  I have a chronic illness.  I have three teens.  They each have issues and demands upon my time.  I have a husband, a house and pets.  Our family budget is tight and facing the addition of college as a line item shortly.  Not insurmountable obstacles though and certainly not ones that are all that unique.

So, if the obstacles are not true barriers, then I guess we are back to the fear.  Yes, it’s the fear.  As I mentioned above the fear is two-fold, fear of failure and fear of rejection.  I know that not trying is actually failing.  I know it and I hate it.  The fear of rejection is more complex.  I am an outgoing, happy person that likes to make others happy, too.  I am also realistic and know that not everyone will like me and certainly not everyone will like what I do.  Yet, the thought of seeing that rejection in black and white seems scarier now that I am older, wiser and experienced.

I should clarify my dream for those of you reading.  I want to be an author.  I love to write.  I have two books started and no where near finished.  One is a fictional paranormal mystery like the ones I love to read.  The other is the story of how we decided to homeschool my eldest son with Asperger’s Syndrome in the late 1990’s when there was no autism awareness or help being extended from the public school system.

Maybe writing this blog entry will be the first step in overcoming my fear.  I was just giddy with delight when Marilee first asked me to contribute to Book Blather.  Then, the panic hit.  What should I write?  Will Marilee like it?  Will everyone else?  Slowly, I crawled out of the cage and began.  Putting everything down in words has helped dampen the fear.  I think I have a dusty notebook and a couple of old Word files I need to reopen. 

Dawn LaVella Miller - July 12, 2011