Whenever
I open the document titled The Blue Rose,
I look at the date it was created and smile. July 15, 2010. Eager to write the
story of a male high school senior who is suddenly saddled with an infant, I whipped
out five chapters. At the time, I was also working on a book in my Unbidden
Magic series. Consequently, The Blue Rose
took a back seat.
In October of that year, I attended a large, highly
regarded conference in a major city that included “dozens of industry
professional.” One of the workshops featured a panel of agents and editors who
offered to evaluate the first page of writers’ works in progress. Hmm, why not give it a try? After all, these
are the gatekeepers. The industry professionals. Critiques are good. I
stepped to the front of the packed room and added the first page of The Blue Rose to the pile, never
dreaming it would be selected.
The
panel shuffled through the stack of papers and selected six. Mine was the
second. In a juicy baritone and a tone dripping with sarcasm, the moderator
read, “The night Gabriel Delgado found out he was a father, he was …” After
completing the first paragraph, he paused, sighed and mugged for the audience.
Then, each person (industry professional) took turns explaining why this
pathetic first page would never make the cut.
For
one thing I was grateful. Other than the flush of humiliation burning my
cheeks, and the fervent hope I’d developed the ability to vanish, nobody knew
it was my work. Later in the day, I had a pitch appointment with one of the
agents from the panel. I almost backed out, but decided that would be the
coward’s way out. When we met, I said, “I’m pitching the book your panel just
eviscerated.” She had the good grace to look ashamed and mumbled, “Well, you
know, that was mainly done for the entertainment value.”
After
I returned home, the doubts set in. Even though I had several published books, I
was convinced The Blue Rose was a
dud. It languished in my computer for several years. Had it not been for my
librarian friend, Lynne Greene, it would still be unfinished. She’d read the
first few chapters and, each time we met, she’d ask, “Have you finished the
magic baby book?” Tired of telling her, “No,’ I began to work on it again. With
much trepidation, I pitched it to my editor along with a couple of other ideas.
Much
to my surprise, she loved the concept of a teen-age boy in an all-male
household raising a baby girl. A publication date was set and I tackled the
book again. The Blue Rose became Baby Gone Bye. I dithered over the first page but decided to leave
it alone. Incidentally, the book still begins, “The night Gabe Delgado found
out he was a father …”
Lessons
learned:
1.Industry
professionals can be wrong.
2.
Seek feedback from people you trust.
3.
Trust yourself more. Listen to your inner critic. When it goes ding, ding, ding, don’t ignore it.
You’re on the wrong track.
4.
Attempt to be as supportive to yourself as you are to others. Above all, don’t
let anything or anybody stop you from writing your story. If it needs to be
told, tell it.
Have you ever been stopped in your tracks by criticism or self doubt? Leave a comment for a chance to win a copy of Baby Gone Bye.
